I denied the whole thing on the air and told him we were just friends. It was the first one I had done with another man since we were married. She just went through the motions, and seemed disconnected the whole time. I learned an important thing about dating: On some level, I wanted to make it work because, professionally, we were a good team. They had the attitude that they could do absolutely anything they wanted…. The best way to make money is not with a Broadway-caliber show, but by being enticing and engaging onstage — by making them want to splooge in their pants.
Even though he was wearing a creepy pair of shorts, I was still attracted. Bruce Willis walked in front of me. I was sure I was about to be raped. This is borne out by how hard it is for anyone in the industry to have a healthy relationship off camera. At the very least, most girls have to battle eating disorders at some point from seeing themselves jiggling naked on camera so much. But Rod got his revenge. Strangers may recognize you and try to attack you or rape you. I collapsed onto the loveseat, shaking. He had no game. Let the tension out of your face. I fucking hate you. They ordered drink after drink, traipsed around the plane like it was their living room, and acted openly sexual with each other, much to the excitement and consternation of the male passengers. He published a screed against Joy and me on the front page of Screw, accusing us of practically every offense imaginable — and a few that were unimaginable. In my head I prepared a response: He asked if my mom minded what I was doing, and I said no. She's nasty and ready to show you just how nasty she can be. Actually, there was a problem: A boyfriend can be a nightmare for your career and your emotional health. Of course, I would fight him on everything tooth and nail, but he made my life so miserable with his constant temper tantrums, guilt trips, and harangues that I would eventually give in. I still wonder what guys do with them, and how stinky and crusty they get when they remain unwashed in their rooms for so long. When I see those photos now, it seems obvious that the sexy pout I thought I was giving the camera was just a poorly disguised grimace of pain. A guy performs seven to ten scenes per week at least. And then for years, in private, I wrestled with myself. Boy raced through the foreplay — a little kissing a little oral sex — then all hell broke loose. On some level, I wanted to make it work because, professionally, we were a good team.
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